Greek Horiatiki (Plated Review #1)

A friend of mine, who I will call Madame V for reasons that will make Madame V groan and regret everything, gave me A BEAUTIFUL GIFT: a free box of Plated, another rival of Blue Apron and the other meal subscription box services.

Please notice our Grim Reaper in the corner, we love him

I’ve tried boxes now from Plated, Blue Apron, and Hello Fresh. So far, Plated has had my favorite recipes cards. Hello Fresh came with a lottt of extra paper fluff, but Plated was more simple.

It was also nice because I could show Michael big pictures and say WHICH ONE DO YOU WAAAAAAAANT

For the first night we picked the Greek Horiatiki because I like chickpeas. Michael, amazingly, said all of the meals looked good?!?! It was a miracle. Just based on this fact, Plated wins the meal subscription box war.

This box was really into being eco-friendly where it could WHICH WAS NICE because dudes these boxes!!! So many separate plastic bags?! I’m sure these people are conforming to certain health standards but when a cucumber is vacuum packed does it also need to be in a quart sized plastic bag? If I was less OCD I’d reuse the bags but… you know. OCD. So anyway this box was lined with recycled… natural… fluff IDK. Good on you, Plated.

At first, I was like “ugh all the ingredients are mixed up, ugh” BUT THEN I remembered how Hello Fresh did separate boxes for each meals and how one box was jacked and how a box was also jacked for Teacher 3 and so clearly, based on two anecdotal evidenceseses the separate box sitch is fucked.

A VERY SMALL amount of chickpeas, grape tomatoes, NASTY OLIVES that would have gone in the trash but I have trash friends who like nasty olives you know who you are come get these monsters from my fridge, a teeny red onion, yellow bell pepper, herbs that I forget what they were, hummus, two pieces of naan, red wine vinegar, feta cheese and super wrapped up cucumber. 

SO MANY INGREDIENTS. It was intimidating.

Honestly, I can’t tell if the Plated directions were easier or if I just am still so mad at Hello Fresh for giving Teacher 3 a free box for HER jacked meal and offering ME a FIVE DOLLAR COUPON for mine. But I did like them. HOWEVER, even more assumptions were made than in other boxes. For example, the oil was specified to be OLIVE oil, not any oil. I don’t normally buy olive oil because are different oils reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally different? And olive oil is SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE. But for some miracle reason I had a really small bottle of Harris Teeter brand olive oil so it got used. The ingredient list just said “olive oil” without an exact amount which was frustrating because I kept putting it BACK and getting it back OUT and thinking I’d run out, honestly EVERY. STEP. of this recipe required MORE AND MORE olive oil. Is this a Greek thing or a Plated thing?! I DON’T know. The last step involved warming the naan in oil and I was so confluffled that I just poured all the rest of the oil in the pan and I ended up with some soggy ass naan, that shit was my bad.

Also, I have a problem with using a lot of plates and shit. This recipe required TWO mixing bowls, AND a large pan. And so many different measurements!  At one point, it said a quarter of a cup of red onion. Does this mean half a small onion? Do I really have to use up a measuring cup for this?

THE ANSWER IS YES I DO because look how far off I was:

This doesn’t look as dramatic as it was in my memories

Anyhoo, this meal ended up being quite tasty despite my hesitation at what seemed like the fanciest of meal subscription boxes. There was even (a very small amount of) leftovers! A true meal box miracle.

I give this recipe 4 Tippys and 4 top hats for fanciness
🐢🐢🐢🐢🎩🎩🎩🎩_ _