Spaghetti Squash With Vodka Sauce

I hope that the title of this recipe does not imply that the vodka sauce in this recipe is from scratch because it the hell is not.
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Spaghetti Squash with Vodka Sauce:
Ingredients
– One spaghetti squash (they are big and yellow and they live with the other winter squashes in a secret section of your grocer’s produce section)
– One jar of vodka sauce (may I suggest Safeway’s store brand? Because I’ve literally never had any other vodka sauce)
– 4 large white button mushrooms
– 1 medium yellow onion
– A pad of butter
– Butter/cooking oil spray
– Oven dish, big enough to hold your squash halves
– A big-ass knife

When I was in college one of my roommates (I had five), Lucy, used to make a DELICIOUS meal she called Pink Pasta. It involved a jar of Alfredo and a can of tomatoes and whatever sautéed veggies you wanted and it was INCREDIBLE. Vodka sauce is basically the same idea, it’s cream and tomato based. I haven’t made Pink Pasta in a long time because I eat enough white pasta without covering it in a cream-based sauce. THEN my continuously amazing co-workers introduced me to the glory of spaghetti squash. Spaghetti squash is a gift straight from Lord Cho. It is the perfect pasta substitute. It isn’t slimy like tofu noodles (the only form of tofu I DON’T love) and it doesn’t require buying fancy equipment like sprialized beets or zucchini or whatever does. And it yields enough “spaghetti” for about 8 servings, for about 4 bucks.

Step 1) Preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit

Step 2) Cut the spaghetti squash in half. This is what the big ass knife is for. Now, I’m no knife expert but I watch enough horror media to know that there are different kinds of knives (see, this is an educational blog!). I used what I believe is a bread knife. It’s big and serrated. First, I saw off the stem-end and then I balance the squash on the new flattened bit. Then I saw at it until I’m about 3/4ths of the way in, at which point you can pry it apart with your bare hands. I mean, I’m sure you could just cut all the way, but pulling it open feels really cool.

Step 3) Scoop out the seedy bits

Step 4) Line your oven dish with tin foil and spray it with the butter spray. Put the squash halves, flesh down, in the dish. Bake for 30 minutes.

Step 5) Sauté your veggies in the butter. I like the mushroom/onion combo but you know, whatever floats your boat. Then add the whole jar of vodka sauce. Be sure to scoop all the extra from the jar with your bare hands and eat it all up like the monster you are! Keep the sauce stirred and on low-medium heat. (If you have a gas stove like I do, make sure you can see the flame, but that it’s just blue!)

Step 6) When the squash is done take it out and let it cool for as long as you can stand waiting. That shit will be HOT. If it’s still sizzling when you lose patience, grab it WITH AN OVEN MITT and cradle it in your OVEN MITT and DO NOT TOUCH it with our un-mitted hand. Use a fork to scrape all the flesh out of the rind. It will come off in spaghetti-shaped strings! Like a miracle! You can seriously scrape until you have the thinnest bit of rind left and the squash starts collapsing in your hands, amazing!
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Step 7) Mix the “noodles” and the sauce all together.

Step 8) Remember to turn the stove and the burner off

Step 9) Promptly eat like HALF of it before Michael can even GET to it because that’s how good it is om nom nom nom

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2 thoughts on “Spaghetti Squash With Vodka Sauce

  1. Teacher 3 is going to tell you all about her new trick of roasting the squash BEFORE cutting it. Maybe not as fun in the final 1/4 of the separation process, but much safer with the huge knife. Also, roasted squash seeds – it’s an extra step, but so worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

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