All of the Horrifying Drinks I’ve Been Making While On Budget

This afternoon, I finally spent fun money on grocery store alcohol. You might be impressed, thinking that I’ve been sober for the entirety of this budget-adventure (budventure) so far (11 days). FALSE. I have been drinking in two ways:

  1. At happy hour (where else would my fun money go)
  2. With the alcohol in our apartment liquor cabinet (by which I mean the space on the top of our refrigerator:


(FUN FACT: That tall “Yo ❤ Panama” shot glass was a gift from a student)

So here it is, the drinks that drove me to spend $18.99 of my fun money on a box of wine:

  1. The Adult Hot Chocolate
    This one might be misleading, it sounds like a legitimate drink. And it kind of was, tbh. Also because I misspelled cocoa. However, I really think flavored vodka is only good for shooting. Or at least, hot chocolate is not enough to mask the chemically taste really at all and instead of one pretty decent tasting shot you all left to drink many many sips of chemical chocolate.
  2. The Cherry Lemonade
    Shout out to Ginny, I couldn’t’ve done it without that ice cube tray!!!
  3. The Fruity Toasty
    At this point, I still had half a lemon so it wasn’t too crazy yet. Also, I made this one when I was already tipsy from happy hour and wanted to keep drinking when I got home. I was really proud of it at the time.
  4. The Blackberry Cherry Berryade
    Pretty okay!
  5. The Blackberry Cherry Berryade with Clementine
    At this point, I was a little panicked about being out of lemon. I figured there had to be some citrus in there.
  6. The Blackberry Cherry Berryade with Clementine and Red Food Coloring
    At this point, I was thinking that #5 didn’t taste right because it wasn’t a good color. I WAS WRONG, IT WAS THE MIXTURE OF CLEMENTINE AND BLACKBERRIES.

At work today, I had to fake some lab results for some very earnest students who completely blotched a batch of conductive clay (they worked so hard and I learned it’s not hard to rig an Ohm meter) and I thought it was Tuesday pretty much all day and I realized that I needed something other than various mushed up things and cherry vodka (WHO LET ME BUY A HANDLE OF CHERRY FLAVORED VODKA) when I got home.

Although, if you’re out of fun money for the week and you’re already kinda maybe drunk I do recommend just smashing the crap out of whatever and calling it muddled.

NEXT TIME: Maybe I’ll talk about Tippy???


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